Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize