Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Who did Billy Mays play for?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
