you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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