Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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