i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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