What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Randomize
