Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
