Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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