That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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