I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
