dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
