never play flip cup with pint glasses
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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