i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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