Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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