i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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