Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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