Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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