i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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