Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
