just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
