New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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