the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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