I'm gonna have a badass scar
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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