Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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