Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think I sprained my soul last night
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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