Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
