apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She announced her abortion via fbk
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
