I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
