so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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