I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
