In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
