You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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