Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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