He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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