Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
