yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just invented taco cereal.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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