Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my shit smells like andre
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Who died my cat blue again?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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