it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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