two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
