some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
