did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
