I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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