so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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