Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
