matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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