why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
