No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
