my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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