i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
