Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
